Tag Archives: awakening

Let go and live.

Let Go and Live

I got up today with pain in my neck and shoulders. Something about the way I slept, I guessed. I worked a rough shift last night and went to bed exhausted, so it made sense. It was now three in the afternoon and as I stared at my coffee pot, I wondered, “Should I treat this like morning and do my daily ritual?”

I decided that I would and made myself a cup of coffee while I contemplated taking some Ibuprofen. I opted out of the pills and tried a little yoga. It made me hurt more so I stopped. I turned to the ritual I have developed over the past week.

A minute later I was sitting on the porch in my spot, drinking coffee, and looking at my notebook. That notebook is just a cheap stenography pad, but I’ve been making notes in it. Notes about my future. The one I want, not the one my brain wants me to settle for.

I flipped back to the first page and scanned each one as I went. I use this to get me thinking about my future instead of my now. As I did so, I noticed my pain easing.

I glanced up and studied a shrub next to the walk. Yesterday, I had taken some pictures of it after a rain. A thunder storm had just passed and it occurred to me that I might be able to get some better, or at least different, shots for use in my inspirational pictures.

I abandoned my coffee and grabbed my camera. I took a few pictures of that shrub, then looked for other bits of beauty to capture with my lens. I don’t know how long I took pictures, but the pain went away. I thought about it. One thought lead to many others and I came to the realization that it wasn’t the way I was sleeping that made my body hurt. It is the way I’ve been living.

The Divine was muted when I got up and I had noticed. As I looked for my next picture, the messages were coming through clearer.

When I got up, I had been thinking about my job. The parts I don’t like. The ones that make me cringe when I think about having to do them. I already decided that I am going to give up parts of it which will mean less money in the short term, but it will also mean less stress, annoyance, and complaints.

Letting go will allow me to focus on this blog and creating a web store where you can buy my images. I put off making the commitment yesterday. I though my perspective would be different in the morning. It wasn’t.

The changed needs to happen. I know this but, it scares me. Thanks to Dr. Robert Cooper, I know the fear is the part of my brain that was wired by my ancient ancestors. I can’t switch it off, but I can refocus my attention to ignore Ug and Grunt’s negative view of the world.

So today, I am going to let go of what hurts me and live my life without the pain.

Take one minute right now to think about your life. Is the way you are living causing you pain? What do you need to let go of to make the pain stop?

Vision: what is, what was and what could be.

Their Time

I never know what I’m going to write when I plant my butt in the chair. I have hundreds and maybe thousands of thoughts and ideas that could be developed into a blog post. I just came back from my morning walk and had so many thoughts rolling around in my head, that I didn’t want to take the time to cook breakfast. I made my coffee and grabbed a granola bar. I was that excited to write.

The only issue is, “Which idea gets written down first?”

I don’t spend much time thinking about that. As soon as my fingers touch the keys they start moving. I usually have a single sentence in mind when I start and it is seldom more than a vague idea. Many times where I think the post is going is not where it ends up. Writing that first version, inspires a second better version and I change the whole thing in favor of that new direction.

What inspired my blog today was all those thoughts. Those that I want to capture and convey to you, but there are so many, I never could. Even if I took only the thoughts I have today and never have another, I would not be able to write a blog for all of them. There are just too many.

I walked for an hour today with those thoughts, wandering really. Just looking for the next picture. The next place I haven’t seen or a new view of something I have seen. I spent this time with lots and lots of thoughts. Some of them are down right awe inspiring and pop into my head almost fully formed. Others need some development. I try to hold on to the good ones, to remember them later and it bothers me when I can’t. Then one of those thoughts put things in perspective.

It’s not their time.

I mulled that over. I could write about this thought or that, but I won’t and the reason I won’t is because it isn’t time. Not yet. I might never write about it, but I had the thought and I let it go. I released it like a balloon into the Collective Unconscious. I might get it back later, but I doubt it. I suspect it belongs to another. Someone who can release it when and where it needs to be and in a way that people will get.

Everything comes into existence exactly when it should. When I write a sentence and put it out into the world, it is because it is time. Time for someone, somewhere to read it. Time for that message to reach that person in that second when they are most open to it.

I have known for a while that I am a messenger. Someone put on this little lump of wet rock to give people a new perspective. To open their eyes.

If you are reading my blog, it’s because it’s time. Time for you to get a different perspective. Time for me to change your view of the world.

Maybe later, it will be time for you to change someone else’s view.

I am not the person I was yesterday. Tomorrow, I will not be the person I am today. I wonder how I will be better tomorrow? Katherine Parker notcrazyjustnutZ.com

Transformation: Step One

Motivated by my previously mentioned “constructive discontent” and having read the book Get Out of Your Own Way, among others, I have begun a transformation. You might have noticed one aspect of it in the fact that I am posting to my blog again.

The books I have read lately have directed me to figure out what I want more than anything in the world. The problem is, what I said I wanted and what I really wanted were hard to reconcile. I self limit…bad.

You can recognize your own self limiting if you start hearing things in your head like:
That’s stupid.
You can’t do that.
Have you lost your mind?
Okay, back to reality.
There is no way I’m gonna get that.

I started making a list of the things I wanted in my life. I started out small. Very small.

A new buckwheat hull pillow
Clothes that fit
To feel good about myself
Shoes that fit

Then I remembered a sign in my local coffee shop.

What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?

Feel free to share or pin. Photo by Katherine Parker

That is when I gave myself permission to dream. This is what I came up with in the same order I came up with it.

Give presents to my friends
Help others
Spend Christmas somewhere the northern lights are visible.
Travel rural Japan
Travel through China
Travel Australia
Set my own schedule.
Spend an extended period on a coast overlooking the ocean
Explore Oregon and Washington
Get the other twenty-five states (I’ve been to twenty-five already)
Go back to Hawaii
Cross the equator

I found a theme in my list. Travel and lots of it. I realized, that is part of my Polaris Point.

What is your Polaris Point?

Grab a pen and notebook. Go ahead, this post will still be here when you get back. Don’t put it off. This could change your life forever.


Back? Okay, now do this exercise.

Imagine you have just won five-hundred million dollars in the lottery. That is eight zeros and looks something like this: $500,000,000. In fact, it is half a billion dollars.

This money is sitting in your bank account right now. Imagine it. Feel it. Then answer these questions.

What would you do with the money?
What would you do with your life?
What would you do to help the world be a better place?

Dream big. After all, you no longer have to work for a living and you have enough money to buy and do anything you want.

Tell me on my Facebook page, what you would do.

Constructive Discontent

I have been experiencing what I will call “constructive discontent.” This is discontent that motivates me to change something instead of just biting random people. This discontent has motivated me to go to the library and checked out multiple self help books. One of those books is called Prosper: Create the Life You Really Want and another is called Get Out of Your Own Way: 5 Keys to Surpassing Everyone’s Expectations.

The first book, Prosper, talks a great deal about your Polaris Point. By Polaris Point, they mean the desires deep inside you that should be guiding every decision you make to get you where you want to be in life. This is your deepest internalized desire. What you really want out of life. The bad thing…most people can not verbalize it because they have never thought about it.

The authors, Ethan Willis and Randy Garn, define prosperity as:

I want prosperity. I think everyone wants prosperity once they figure out they don’t have it. So, I tried to figure out my Polaris Point using the guides in the book, but something just wasn’t right. I did a lot of thinking, but nothing clicked.

I switched to Get Out Of Your Own Way. I liked the title of the book because I have been aware for years that I am the only thing holding me back. I blame money or more specifically, the lack of money, but it’s me. All me. I am consistently making decisions that keep me where I am. Broke and discontent.

The author of Get Out of Your Own Way, Robert K. Cooper, Ph.D., talks about how the human brain is wired and he does it in a way that makes sense to me. Human society has changed dramatically in the past one hundred years, but we are working with the brain that developed back when Ug and Grunt were walking the Earth. Ug and Grunt’s need for survival in a rough and dangerous world wired the human brain in a way that made us very aware of the potential negative outcomes in any situation.

Fortunately for Ug and Grunt, this worked for them. They survived and because they survived, we exist. Unfortunately for us, the brain wiring that worked so well for them has become our biggest liability in the new world we created.

We as a society, and as individuals, focus on the potential worst case scenario and completely miss the potential best case scenario in any situation. This sets us up for failure, discontent, and random biting.

I have been just as guilty of doing this as anyone else. The failure and discontent, not the biting.

The problem is, as with any problem, you have to know you have a problem. You have to know you are letting the worst case scenario rule your world. Cooper talks about what triggers our worst case scenario responses. He also tells us what needs to be done to reprogram the brain to override the system Ug and Grunt created.

The observations clicked with me. I became aware of the way my brain is holding me back. I finally saw the problem in a way that also allowed me to fix it.

We, as poorly wired humans, get so tied up with the short term and solving the little problems of today, that we never give a thought to where we want to be tomorrow. Cooper calls this the “shoe top” perspective. Looking down at the top of your feet will tell you where to place your next step, but if you never look up to figure out where you are and where you are going, you are just moving.

Movement for movement’s sake is pointless. It accomplishes nothing, but we are still exhausted at the end of the day. Modern society has brainwashed us into believing we have to work to exhaustion. We might even take pride in the fact that we are tired. After all, being exhausted means we accomplished something. Or did we?

Did we actually accomplish something lasting or did we just get through the day? Think about your yesterday or even your whole last week. What did you do toward making your next year better?

For most people, the answer is nothing.

Leave a comment below and let me know if you have or are experiencing constructive discontent.