Never let fear take your dreams from you.

Scared Spitless

Right now I am right smack in the middle of scared spitless.

The reason? I found a vehicle that I think could be The Wander Away. It isn’t a camper trailer, I decided my car just won’t pull what I need. What I found is a 1978 Econo-line box truck with what appears to be low miles considering the age. The truck or van, whichever you want to call it, is in my price range, though I will have to clean out my bank account to get it.

Picture of the van/truck.

A clean slate. I already have the outside decorated in my head.

Inside of the truck box.

Lots of space and again, a clean slate. This will be fun.

The good part is, once I have it, I can sell my car and recoup a large chunk of what I’m going to spend on the truck. The car won’t be the only thing I off load. Most of the things I have in my apartment will be going as well. I will keep just enough to equip the truck and make it livable in the short term while I raise the funds to finish the conversion.

The adventure chick is me is grinning from ear to ear and pumped up on adrenaline. I like adrenaline. It’s some good shit.

The caveman part of my brain is screaming, “NOOOOOOO!”

Apparently my caveman brain parts, known as Ug and Grunt, are not comfortable with the idea of giving up a perfectly good and pretty cheap apartment for an adventure into the unknown. Ug and Grunt don’t like the unknown and tend to be pretty spineless when it comes to adventure.

I know I’m going to buy the truck. I’ve already made the decision. The hard part is getting Ug and Grunt to quiet down long enough to listen to logic.

1. No rent or utilities.
2. Move where I want, when I want, and stay as long as I want.
3. Living my dream.
4. The ability to see amazing parts of this country and eventually other countries.
5. Be able to work on my writing and photography full time.
6. Low stress.
7. High potential adventure.
8. Engineering challenge of the conversion.
9. Inspiring people along the way.
10. Being where The Divine wants me when I’m supposed to be.

Number ten is of course the most important one, but the rest are pretty amazing.

Ug and Grunt are shaking their heads, but I think they are coming around. The idea that I would never have to worry about being homeless is getting through. Figuring out if I’m going to have enough money for rent every month gets them upset. With the truck, I can be a turtle and drag my home around with me.

I wonder if I can find a cat that would like to travel with me? I’ve seen truckers with cats sleeping on their dashboard. There must be more adventure kitties out there. Maybe one will want to join me.

Somehow, the thought of an adventure kitty joining me has placated Ug and Grunt.

So, while part of me is still terrified, the rest of me is yelling, “Oh, hell yeah! Let the adventure begin!”