I keep thinking that this adventure will start when I walk out of this apartment for the last time. But that isn’t right. This adventure began years, and maybe even decades ago. This is just the newest chapter in the story.
Yesterday’s chapter was one of immense joy, disappointment, friendship, generosity, fear and adaptation, all packed into less than 24 hours. This emotional roller coaster is a doozy. There were so many changes and things going on yesterday that I feel like it should have some commentator doing a play-by-play analysis.
First, spirit decided to reveal a pretty amazing potential future, one I believed I would have no chance of experiencing. That brought on the waterworks, but I had things to do. I got myself together enough to take my car in to get serviced before I took off on my 3000 mile road trip to my dream land.
They say that when humans make plans, God laughs and laughs, and I must have had him rolling. I can picture him nudging Archangel Michael and saying, “Watch this,” as he giggled to himself. The car, as determined by the mechanics at the bidding of God, is unsafe to drive anywhere, much less on a 3000 mile road trip across mountains in the winter. It is fixable, but not in the time and financial frame I have available to me.
Long story short, I’m not taking my car or my road trip. Apparently, that was not in alignment with what I’ve opened myself up to receive and I needed to drop it and my years-in-the-making plan. At this point, I know I’m still going. That is all I know. I’m just waiting for God to get over his amusement and reveal the next step.
In the mean time, I’ve been saying goodbye to a lot of people. Last night was my last night at work. Between the words of encouragement, financial gifts and the amazing willingness for a friend to solve a large portion of my problems, I got the most valuable gift I have ever received.
I got a hug.
Oh, but it wasn’t just any hug, it was the hug. The one who’s feeling I will compare other hugs to for the rest of my life. It was a hug from a young woman with a wide open heart chakra who genuinely cared about me. When she wrapped her arms around me, I knew that was the way a hug should feel. It felt like pure Source love.
I’ve never felt that in a hug before. Most people have experienced so much trauma that they shut down in self defense. Some of the people I hugged yesterday were like hugging a warm manikin, they cared about me, but they couldn’t let that out for fear of being hurt. So in the future, I will be looking for the feeling of that hug from the people I allow into my life. I also genuinely hope I can provide that feeling to others for their own comparison, to show them what a hug should feel like, to teach them how love really feels.
Ariana, if you are reading this, you are truly an amazing woman. Thank you for the best gift I’ve ever gotten and for just being your sweet sparkly self. Keep hugging people. There is magic in you, girl.
I wish you and everyone reading this love. Lots and lots of love.