I am not the person I was yesterday. Tomorrow, I will not be the person I am today. I wonder how I will be better tomorrow? Katherine Parker notcrazyjustnutZ.com

Finding Freedom

Monday, February 20th, one day after my forty-forth birthday, I was told, “You have 7 days to vacate the condo.”

Once I got over the shock of being kicked out of my home, I realized it was probably the best birthday gift I have ever received. I swear I feel like Dobby in Harry Potter when he got the sock. “I’m free? I’m free!”

That analogy isn’t far from the truth. I have a small spot on my left wrist that is a slightly darker pigmentation. It is just below my thumb where the bone of my wrist protrudes a bit. The edges are squared off on opposite sides and it’s about an inch square. It is exactly where my watchband used to rest and in fact I used to think it was caused by a watchband. I realize now it is a past life carry over from a life of slavery. It is the mark left where a handcuff or shackle rubbed my wrist raw. I chose to carry the scar into this life as a reminder of my purpose here, breaking free of that karmic bondage and the slave mentality.

Realizations like that are almost funny sometimes. Suddenly, patterns within my life snap into focus. I see clearly how being a slave set up the dynamics and decision making processes in this life. It’s why I refer to some of my former employers as “corporate slave camps”. It’s why no matter how miserable I was in a job, I didn’t feel like I could quit. I had to be freed. Seriously, I used to refer to being fired as “being freed.”

So now that I’ve gotten that freedom, what do I do with it? In the past, I’ve never known what to do and always ended up back in bondage, usually in some corporate slave camp. But this time, I know.

This time, instead of signing up as someone’s slave, I will be finding my joy. I’ve lived my life of drudgery and fear. It’s time to live a life of happiness and love.

I’ve had in the back of my mind for decades a desire to move to the Pacific Northwest, specifically Washington state. The pull to the Northwest does not have a logical explanation. I’ve never been there. I don’t know anyone, and I’ve never known anyone from there. I have, as you may have read in previous blog entries, been actively working toward getting there for about 3 years, but things just didn’t gel. I understand why, now. That joy is in Washington. I had to break the karmic tether to the past before I would be free to live my life of joy.

The sudden clarity, is so overwhelming to me, I find myself crying . . . a lot. Where before I could not fathom a life of abundance and love, now I can. I can feel that. I think this is what Abraham Hicks is talking about when they refer to the “vortex”. When I step into it mentally, it feels more like a bubble. A vortex to me is a tornado, and tornadoes are not happy places to be.

It really is the feeling. I’ll think about the loving, supportive man I’ll meet and marry and can feel what it feels like to have him there. I can sense his energy so clearly, and the kindness and love are so overwhelming that I start crying. I picture the trips we’re going to take together, and I cry. I picture the nights of just cuddling on the couch, and I cry. The contrast is so stark from what I’ve had to what I will have that it just keeps overwhelming the system, and I have to release that in the form of tears.

I’m going to live my happy ending in Washington and I leave in t-minus 4 days, 1 hour, 41 minutes and 18 seconds. LOL.

I planned my trip years ago. I know the route I’ll take and what I want to see along the way. It isn’t going to be a hurried thing either. I don’t have anyone expecting me and I’m going to take my time to experience the country between here and there and to adjust to my new found freedom. Along the way I will be sloughing that old slave mind and the old me . . . and I’m crying again. LOL

There will be moments when the fear steps in, I’ll be dealing with that for years. It pops up almost every morning right now. Do I have enough money? Will my car make it? What if the snow socks me in along the way? What will I do once I get there? Where will I live? How will I pay for it?

I don’t know the answer to any of those questions and you know what? That’s okay. Because I get those views into my new life often enough to keep me on my path. I don’t need to see the details, I just need to keep moving toward the end objective, that man and those cuddles. Everything else will work itself out and it will always be in my favor, because that is how the Universe works if you let it.

If you’d like to read about what lead up to this transformation, click the “Start Here” button in the menu.

May blessings be upon you.