Want to know who you are at your core? Write a fiction book. Better yet, write several.
A little over two years ago, I sat down at my computer and wrote 100,000 words or more about a woman named Cera Kennedy. Cera decided when she was six years old that she wanted to be a Navy SEAL. And that dream consumed her. She was ten before anyone told her she couldn’t because she was “just a girl.”
She could have accepted that. She could have given up that dream and lived a life of mediocrity while waiting to die. After all it was grown ups telling her she couldn’t do it and they are always right. Right? She didn’t, though. Instead Cera listened to the reasons people gave for why she couldn’t be a SEAL, and then systematically went about proving every single one of them wrong.
She listened, but she didn’t accept. She trusted her own internal guidance.
Her older brother, Will, was with her the day she found out she couldn’t be a SEAL. Watching his sister’s dream die in front of him marked him in a profound way. That day, he saw the inequality that his little sister would deal with the rest of her life. At twelve, he didn’t understand it any more than she did, and resolved to help her in any way possible.
Cera wasn’t afraid to get dirty, get hurt or do the work either. When people said she couldn’t, she made damn sure she did, and she didn’t go by half measures either. When someone told her girls couldn’t do pull ups, that same day she resolved to break a world record and not by a little bit either. Then she got to work training for it.
She was in it for the long haul and had a single minded focus that inspired some and terrified others. If she couldn’t find a way around the problem, she’d go through the middle of it and to hell with the consequence. Her motto became, “Just because I can’t today, doesn’t mean I can’t tomorrow.”
Cera’s strength of focus and dedication to her purpose inspired me. She embodied the soul of a world changer and even if she never accomplished what she wanted, she’d at least cut a path for those coming behind her. She was willing to sacrifice herself for the good of humanity as any warrior would.
I found myself making decisions based on what Cera would do, and Cera would do the work. No matter how painful, she’d keep moving forward until she got what she was after or died trying. That’s why I began my emotional journey to healing. That’s why I am the woman I am today.
My next book was about a young girl named Amanda Landragan. Amanda carries just as much resolve as Cera does, but they are very different women in very different circumstances. Amanda is the victim of sexual assault perpetrated by her father after her mother’s death. At 12 she ran away from him only to have the police bring her back. She made another attempt to escape and men her father hired, dragged her back. The third time, she didn’t mess around. She burned down the house and managed to make it half way around the world before anyone figured out she didn’t die in the inferno.
Amanda has the ability to manifest money into her existence. Poker is her game of choice and she’s damn good at it. It’s how she survived as a teen girl on the streets of a foreign country. One quote from the book, “I heard you went to Monaco.” “Yeah, when I got there, they had more money than sense. Now, . . . Well, now they have more sense than money.”
I realized a while ago that Cera and Amanda are both aspects of me. Those personalities were buried inside, hidden from the world and myself for a long time. Through Spirit/God/Source guidance I created those alternate personalities in order to bring that part of me to the surface. And it worked.
Cera has gotten what she wanted. She’s completed her mission and is stepping down. Now it’s time to let Amanda play.
My flight has a 5 hour layover in Las Vegas and I love a challenge. So Tuesday, I’m going to find out how much money I can win in two hours while playing Black Jack. I’m shooting for 35 million. Go big or go home right?